Ruminations and Revelations

If this snow doesn't melt and I don't get some sleep, they're going to have to drag me off to the loony bin. Seriously.

I have cabin fever. I'm sitting in front of my computer in a skirt, bikini top, and flip-flops while listening to Ricky Martin and lathering on the sunless tanner. (Ricky Martin!) It's that bad. Dammit, I want to be wearing this OUTSIDE! (Do I really want it? Yeah! Do I really want it? Yeah!)

Ok, putting my clothes back on and getting serious. Grrr... it happened again last night. I can't turn my brain off anymore. I can't stop thinking. I watched the freakin' sunrise... not in a good way, in an "Oh my God, I still haven't fallen asleep yet and the sun is already rising!!!" kind of way. Ugh. This all started when my stupid car died. First I was stressed out about that- the stupid mechanic wouldn't even look at it and I was so sure it was a busted bearing. Then there was all the stress of finding a new car. Then the stress of paying for the new car. Now the stress of looking for a new job to help pay for the new car. To top it all off, I have coupons for both Bath and Body Works and Victoria's Secret that I can't use now because I'm too poor. (TOO POOR for pretty bath gel and underwear... this is unbearable.) I don't even know what I want anymore. I'm questioning everything - my priorities, my desires, my dreams. Where do I want to live? What do I want to do? (Jme-Just in case you missed it, this is the part where you chime in with the "move to Chicago" shtick.) Am I ready to live alone? Can I live with a job that pays well but isn't fulfilling? What is the meaning of life, the universe, and everything?

All I'm asking for is a seven-eight hour break from those questions and more every night. Is that so much?